Anim-eight

For Halloween, I bought a Tomb Raider Legend outfit. It's pretty official, contains everything but the guns and to be honest, if I can find friend to take photos, then  that's it.

We'll have to wait and see. Should be cool Tomb Raider photos.

All men are the fucking same. As soon as a new prospect comes along that will open their fucking legs to them, they fucking disappear. I'm sick of all of this. I'm fed up with being disappointed!

Fuck men!

It's been a while I guess since I've done anything on here, but since things have happened recently, I guess I should update those that may care. First of all, happy one year to this deviant page! Secondly, and more seriously: I've found out that I'm ill. Not terminal illness ill, but mentally ill. It took a lot of courage to go to the doctor and say that something was wrong. But I did and now I've heard the worst. It's not schizophrenia, thankfully, but having what is basically a social phobia is just as bad. It's called Social Anxiety Disorder and well, it's a phobia. I couldn't risk the medication either. I'm already depressed and they have a high chance of making it much worse. I wouldn't normally say this to anyone, and to be honest, my parents don't even know and neither does my boyfriend. Count yourselves lucky! Besides, my doctor said that getting to grips with it would be a good idea and I guess this counts as that.

Thought it would be best to update the world..

Everything is going brilliantly. The last four months have been perfect, I spend nearly every night in the tattooed arms of the only other person who cares about Tolkien as much, and the only person who doesn't mind how insecure and neurotic I am. It's the most wonderful feeling...

So last night was easier than I thought it would be. I told him I wasn't happy and he wondered off. He knows it's over, thankfully. However, after dumping it, he tried to guilt trip me and seems to be trying to rebuild the gap between up... That gap has been growing for months. I'd go on about my Bridge metaphor for relationships but it would bore you all. May do it anyway.


Every relationship is a ravine. The more scittish the relationship is, the deeper the drop and the more rocks at the bottom. A perfect relation would be a large stainless steel bridge without any wind and a small drop, as well as a short distance between the start and the end. However, the more 'rocky the road', the worse the state of the bridge until it becomes that little rope bridge that you find on the local adventure playground, you know the one. The one with just a rope to put your feet on and several ropes hanging down for you to hold on to. At the other side of the bridge is the world of happiness and beautiful love. The more difficult it is to reach that point, the more wind that will be blowing against the bridge, making it more and more difficult to cross.


The relationship I just left was a silly little wooden bridge, gale force winds, and the otherside was so far away I couldn't even see it. So I called a helicopter and rescued myself. Yet this new one, it feels like a good strong bridge, no wind, a wonderful sunny day, a drop so small, you wouldn't even notice you fell and the other side is less than a foot away. It isn't like he's a rebound either as I met him before I broke up with my last boyfriend. He's amazing. I could never do anything to hurt him.